How to stop outsourcing your personal power

You are an infinitely powerful human. In today's world though, we have been conditioned to believe that we are not infinitely powerful. Today's episode debunks this myth and lays out 3 simple ways that you can start taking your power back TODAY.

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Light, Love, & Peace,

Jaclyn Steele

Transcript

Jaclyn Steele: 0:00

Hi, I am Jaclyn Steele and welcome to self discovery. Howard Thurman so beautifully wrote, don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive? And go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive, coming alive. That my friends, is what self discovery is all you wear that mask Hello, and welcome to today's episode. This is episode 106. Teen of self discovery soon to be self worth. With Jaclyn Steele today's topic is how to stop outsourcing your personal power. If I say so myself, this is a very powerful episode, there's some pretty juicy information in here that I spent a lot of time gathering. So before we dive in a couple of business things to take care of. If you haven't left a review for this podcast, please do you know the drill by now it helps with the podcast algorithm and gets the podcast out to more people. I also read your reviews and they mean the world to me. Second order of business, join my email newsletter, the scoop. I have taken a brief hiatus from writing this email newsletter for the time for the last couple of months since I've had my son, but I am going to be revamping that and sending you uplifting, inspirational information regularly like once a week, maybe twice a month. And the idea is to share incredible discounts for super high vibe clean products that only you guys get and my tribe gets. And then also really to just be a breath of fresh air in your inbox and uplift you during your week. So if you're interested in that, join this group. The link is in the show notes. It's all over my website, Jaclyn steele.com, as well. And then if you haven't joined my text messaging group, this is such a fun group. I call it sacred rebel affirmations. These are a few text messages that I send out a week, maybe one a week, sometimes they are meant to uplift you, to inspire you to help you stop and take a breath in a moment for yourself. But really, the whole purpose is to share things that are happening in my life that have helped me or increase my own frequency. And so they are personal text messages. And they are sent with such love. If you want to be a part of that text 480-531-6858 Again, that's 480-531-6858 and then type in the word sacred s a c r e d and you will automatically be added to this group you may have to opt in first but anyway, you'll get the idea will automatically happen once you text that number. And rest assured it is actually me on the other side of this text messages. I don't have anybody sending them for me. It is me and I want to connect with you. Okay, now grab yourself a cup of tea, a glass of kombucha whatever it is that makes your soul happy and let's dive in to the first episode, in the month of May. It's gonna be May I think of insync every time I think of May from all the memes that just inevitably circulate this month with Justin Timberlake space on it. This is may like I mentioned Can you believe it for this year is flying by and with each new month as you know I'm introducing a new theme. All of them will be related to self worth as they all have been thus far. And with each theme. There will be weekly episodes based around that theme. And Mays theme is drumroll please. personal power this month is all about empowering yourself. Feeling yourself going after your goals like the freakin boss you are with the self worth of a child who has not yet dim their light. You feel me? I'm feeling this theme. Big time. I am now three months postpartum and I've joked with some of my girlfriends that I'm reentering society, the little cocoon I've been in the last three months has been it's been Incredible. It's been amazing and I wouldn't trade it for the world. But now I'm returning to work part time. And I'm feeling empowered. I want to feel like I feel right now, every day. And so I wanted to riff a little bit on how to empower your personal power each day. And that starts with harnessing it, and bringing awareness around whether or not you are outsourcing your personal power. Here are a few scenarios to help you to help me determine if we are outsourcing our power. I'm going to say you in these scenarios, but I don't necessarily mean you specifically. I mean, like all of us collectively, okay, so here are the scenarios to help you determine if you're outsourcing your power. You feel like you are constantly waiting on other people to make decisions to take action to go places you are waiting, waiting, waiting to move forward, you've experienced trauma, and you are unsure of how to move forward. So you are currently stuck, and not taking action to move out of that stuckness. You are easily offended by family members, by friends by social media by society. You have bad boundaries with people, you are a dedicated people pleaser. You don't give any time or very little time to your mental health, physical health, spiritual growth. You dog on yourself constantly, both in your head and out loud in front of other people. You wait a long time to make decisions. This could be related to something as big as moving to another country, or as small as choosing what to have for lunch. You guys, if you can hear my dog in the background, I'm sorry, I'm trying to do all the things today and be a mom and be a businesswoman and love are my animals. And my little dog PIP is just requiring a lot of attention right now. You have a dream, but have not taken any steps to catch it. You say you want to do something, but you have not taken any steps towards doing it. You make decisions out of fear. Like instead of wearing that top you love, you don't because you're afraid your mom will judge you or your friend will judge you or whoever will judge you. You let someone else make most of the decisions in your life. You are passive for example, you allow life to make your decisions for you. You take the job you're offered and stay there, you stay in the relationship because it's there and it's safe. You have the same routine day in and day out, because it feels like a lot of work to deviate from it. In other words, you are acting like the passenger in your life instead of the driver. So those are some scenarios that you can compare against what's happening in your life right now to know am I in my power or not in my power. Let's flip it though, because you guys know I don't like to stay in a low vibe space. Here are some ways to know if you are in your power. And these are the scenarios that we want to be in more often than not. Let's go. You have solid boundaries with people. You can respectfully say no to something you don't want to do, or do not feel comfortable with. You don't wait on other people to make a decision for you. You are an action taker. You want to do something and you do something about it. You take care of yourself. In general, no one's perfect. You eat well. You exercise you prioritize rest, and sleep and fun. You make decisions based on the information you have and your gut instinct, and it doesn't take you to weeks or months or years to decide. You are not easily offended. You ask for and charge for what you're worth. You advocate for yourself, whether that's at a doctor's appointment or in a disagreement with a loved one. You aren't afraid of being alone. You lift others up when they are doing well and you celebrate with them because it doesn't detract from your own success. It adds to it. You choose abundant thoughts, whether that's about money, or success or friendship. You live in the idea year that there is enough to go around. Does this make sense? As humans, we often vacillate between being in our power and being out of our power. And that's okay. But the point of this episode is to bring awareness around where you are at, and get to a place where you are feeling in your power more often than you are out of it. Now, let's talk about harnessing our power, and making sure that we are aware of whether or not we are outsourcing our personal power on the daily. And when I sit, sat down, to write this podcast, three things came to my mind. And I'm going to go into detail on each of these three things. But there's simple just like all truth is simple, my friends, words, actions, ownership, these are three things we have to pay very close attention to, if we don't want to constantly outsource our power. The first one is words. And I'm going to start with a quote. And I don't know exactly how to pronounce this gentleman's name, but I think it's Gregory, DOD. And he said, The words we choose to use when we communicate with each other, carry vibrations. The word war carries a whole different vibration than the word peace. The words we use are showing how we think and how we feel. The careful selection of words helps to elevate our consciousness and resonate in higher frequencies. My husband and I have talked about this recently, but if we want to change the way we're living, if we want to change the way we think about something, if we want more success, if we want more peace, if we want more power, if we want more whatever, we have to change our vocabulary around it, we have to uplevel our vocabulary. So my friends, what kind of words are you using? What kind of things are you saying to others? Yes, but also to yourself. Our words are extremely powerful because our words become actions. So if we want more love in our lives, we need to speak love. If we want more success in our lives, we need to speak positively about success. If we want to feel better about ourselves, we need to be thoughtful in the way we speak to and about ourselves. This episode of self discovery supported by Parker clay, Parker clay creates premium leather bags and goods that provide stable and dignified work for at risk women in Ethiopia. Every item on their site shows how many hours of empowerment your purchase will create. I freaking love this company as evidenced by all the items I have from them, which I'm going to share right now. I own the Mercado signature tote the Miramar backpack the Eaton carry all the squares, wallet cord tacos for organizing the Toba mini bucket bag the Abby drawstring backpack the ring con tote the Pajaro and my friends the list goes on. I've also purchased many gifts from their site for my friends and family. My husband wears the A zash bandana and mask combo which has been great during this pandemic. And he loves it because it's stylish and also provides protection. Every single thing I have from them, I'm impressed by you know the quality as soon as you touch the leather it's so buttery soft and thick and gorgeous. I wear my Parker clay pieces with pride knowing they are stylish and providing dignified employment for some incredible and deserving people in Ethiopia. And as a side note, these items just get better with time because of the way that they are made. Visit Parker clay.com To purchase your next favorite bag I'm telling you you'll be hooked and use code PC dash Jacqueline s 20 for 20% off your order again that's PC dash Jaclyn s 20 for 20% off your order, you can find the link in the details in the show notes below. Okay, now back to the episode you get the idea. What do you want more of speak it into existence. I cannot even articulate how important this is. It relates to frequency Each word we say has a frequency. And if we want to live regularly on a higher frequency, then we must use words that resonate on a high frequency. Years ago, I read the book Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsch, it's an incredible book, I highly recommend it, I'll link it in the show notes. But in it, God talks about how every emotion we have, as humans can be traced back to being rooted in either love or fear. This is a fantastic litmus test, when it comes to checking in with ourselves in relation to our words. Is this word rooted in love? Or is it rooted in fear? One mantra I often use myself is choose the loving thought, choose the loving thought, I want to do this when it comes to myself. When it comes to my family, my career, my body, my life in general, choose the loving thought. It's amazing. When employed, what this monster can do. I'm going to wrap up this section on words, with a quote from Lao Tzu. He said, watch your thoughts. They become your words. Watch your words, they become your actions. Watch your actions. They become your habits. Watch your habits, they become your character. Watch your character, it becomes your destiny. The second component that I marinated on when it came to how to stop outsourcing our power is action. Action. Let me start with a question in this section. Has there ever been a time you felt more powerful than when you are taking action on something you wanted to take action on? When you were moving the needle toward a goal you really wanted to achieve? Maybe it was professional, maybe it was just painting your bedroom, maybe it was reading a book, maybe it was doing some yard work. Maybe it was moving to another country. Anything doesn't matter if it was big or small. Have you ever felt more powerful than in that moment when you are taking action on something that you felt like you wanted to do in your soul? Taking action in your life is like the definition of personal power. It's the absolute bedrock. I can say that I want to make $10,000 a month until I'm blue in the face. But if I don't take action on it, chances are, it's not going to happen. Whatever it is that you want in your life, you can I'm going to repeat that you can take action on it. Want more financial abundance, start a side hustle, update your resume and start applying to better jobs. Save more than you spend. Invest every month in an interest bearing investment account. Make a plan for how much you want to make and how you will make it do you want more free time. Say no to things that don't let you up. Look at your calendar and actively take off the activities that aren't adding to your life. Block off time each day that you can dedicate to yourself. And if you can't do it daily, a couple of times a week. have healthy boundaries with people. Do you want better relationships? Join a club for an interest that you have. Maybe it's cooking, or pottery, or books or sports or politics, et cetera. Actively let go of the relationships that hold you back or cause you regular angst. Take stock of your life and write out who you want to become. And the kind of people you want to become that with. Pay attention to whether you are expanding or shrinking in each relationship in your life. If you aren't able to be expansive, then maybe that relationship isn't for you. And remember, that frequency attracts like frequency. The higher your frequency, the higher the caliber of people you will attract. Do you want to travel more Start a travel account and invest a percentage of what you make every single month into that account. If money isn't an issue with traveling, then set aside time to think about where you want to go. And start planning. Get active. Make a vision board or a bucket list of everywhere in the world. You want to go and then put it somewhere you can see it so it's top of mind. Do you want to feel more empowered, pay attention to your words. Take action on things that will make you feel like you are moving the needle forward. Maybe make a list to help you take actions and put deadlines on that list. Read uplifting books, listen to uplifting podcasts, watch uplifting programs, hang out with uplifting people. Do you want to get in shape, block off time to exercise and do it. Find a workout buddy and hold each other accountable. Meal Prep and commit to eating clean, not just to look good, but to feel good because you respect and love your beautiful body. Be consistent. We can choose to be the kind of people that work out regularly and block out workout time. That is non negotiable. Do you want a better life in general, create boundaries with work. Create boundaries with all the people you have relationships with. Take time for yourself every single day. Start your morning with meditation and journaling and movement. Read, spend time outside, eat well move that beautiful body, do things that scare you. You get the idea. Action is everything. We must take action if we want to progress. And it's really hard to feel like we are in our power if we aren't making progress. The third thing that I want to talk about in relation to making sure we stop outsourcing our personal power is ownership. And specifically, ownership of your our mine. We are feelings. Friends, this one is not easy. But in order to be in our power, we must, must take ownership over our feelings. Because here's the truth. No one can make you feel anything. Any feeling you are experiencing is a feeling you are allowing. When we understand this, we have the ultimate power. We are waiting to move on until so and so apologizes. We aren't sitting on our couch or laying in our beds in perpetuity because we are sad about that thing that happened to us. Life is really hard sometimes. And I'm not saying that it isn't. If you are hurt, be in the hurt for as long as you need to move through it, but do not live in it. Does that make sense? If something awful happens, you don't have control over that. But what you do have control over is how you react to it. And how much of it you let dictate your future. My sophomore year of high school, I was in honors English. And Mr. Gamal said something that I will never forget. I don't remember the books we read. In that class. I don't remember the poetry. I don't remember the papers we wrote. But I remember this. He said, students, the sooner you learn and understand that life is not fair, the better off you will be. And life isn't fair. Sometimes I get it. And that's hard. However, when we understand that, then we have the power to take action and get out of those feelings of feeling powerless, or feeling like things are unfair. When we take ownership over our feelings, we take ownership of our limitless power. Here's the truth. Unless there is a biological thing happening. We can change our perspective and change the way we feel about a situation. Sometimes we can change that perspective. So fast, like as fast as turning on a light switch. And sometimes it takes more work than that. And that work is something that needs to be brought out and exorcised what our feelings overall, are our responsibility. And when we stop giving the responsibility of the way we feel to others, we harness the power that is already within us to move toward feeling. However it is that we actually want to feel. My teacher, banya shared this with me last year, and she said, You cannot change others. But you can change yourself. And the amazing thing that happens when you change yourself is that those around you change. This happens again, due to frequency. When we uplevel the people around us either up level, or naturally go away and make space for those that match our frequency. This cannot happen if we are waiting for the people around us to change if we are giving people around us power over our feelings. Can you live in Utopia all the time, and only feel high frequency vibes? No. But even in low frequency environments, if you have to be in them at times, you can choose to think high frequency thoughts and have high frequency actions and refuse to absorb any feelings or emotions that are not your responsibility. You years ago, Gabrielle Bernstein said something like zip up your energy. If you are going into an environment that has low energy, or energy vampires literally zip up your body and protect your energy. And when she was speaking about this, she literally acted like she was zipping up a onesie around her body and her energy. And I do this sometimes when I'm going into a situation that I feel like is going to be energetically difficult. And I'm telling you when we bring that awareness around ourselves, it changes every thing. We go in and it's like we're on offense instead of defense. When we refuse to give others power over our feelings, we stop the leak. By stopping the leak. We can water our own inner world and create more space and energy to cultivate intentional words and actions. In some, we are such infinitely powerful people. Especially when we stop giving our power away. Your words matter. Your actions matter and they add up and taking ownership of your feelings matters. Today is a new day. This is a new month and this is a new opportunity to step into our highest level of self worth. And be the people we know we are capable of being