Relationships Are Frequency Exchanges: How to Attract High-Vibe People

Your relationships are mirrors — reflecting back your frequency, your beliefs, and your energetic boundaries. In this episode, Jaclyn and Sam unpack how to vibe-check your circle (without judgment), shift your internal state to attract better connections, and set high-frequency standards in love, friendship, and business.

You’ll learn:
How to become the energy you want to attract
Why setting clear relational standards isn’t mean — it’s magnetic
How to spot and nurture the relationships that feel expansive
A personal story of how Jaclyn's entire social circle changed after doing the inner work

If you want to raise your frequency and start attracting people who actually see you, try The Freq App. It’s like tuning your energy to the people you’re meant to meet — using audio Calibrations that shift your thoughts and boost your vibe.
Because high-vibe people? They’re drawn to high-vibe frequency like magnets.

Chapters

• 1:56 Welcome to The Freak Show
• 4:18 Relationships as Frequency Exchanges
• 8:58 Auditing Your Circle of Friends
• 14:33 Attracting the Friendships You Want
• 20:04 Three Steps to Cultivating Inner Circle
• 27:32 Closing Thoughts and Call to Action

Transcript

Jaclyn: 0:58

Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to The Freq Show. I'm Jaclyn Steele Thurmond, joined by my husband.

Sam: 1:05

Sam Thurmond

Jaclyn: 1:06

And today we are going to talk about what.

Sam: 1:08

Today we're going to talk about relationships, and relationships specifically as frequency exchanges and, even further than that, how to attract high vibe people in your life.

Jaclyn: 1:23

All right. Well, you lead, let's launch into it.

Sam: 1:27

Yeah, well, I think you know, the older you get, the more difficult it is to make relationships. I'll say like, make friends that sort of thing, and especially with us, you know, being entrepreneurs and working for ourselves and not going into an office full of people and kind of not having the usual work interactions that a lot of people have, I think sometimes you kinda get in. We have our own little world, and we don't go outside of it oftentimes. But we need those external relationships for a number of different reasons, you know. I think we need them for personal development, we just need them as an outlet and for enjoyment, you know. And so I think that it's important to put an effort into going out and making new relationships and investing in current relationships.

Jaclyn: 2:33

You do, do you?

Sam: 2:34

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's definitely been something that I put on the back burner, you know, for the last few years.

Jaclyn: 2:43

Well, and in your defense, we've been building a business and had a child, and now we have another child on the way. .

Jaclyn: 2:53

Yeah, yeah, it it's not like we haven't been extremely busy, yeah, yeah.

Sam: 2:53

It hasn't been the priority for me, for sure. But I have gotten to a point where I need a little more social interaction with you know, some guy friends and that sort of thing. So but it's hard. It's hard when you're 40 years old and going out and asking other dudes if they want to be your friends and friend and that sort of thing, and how do you start that process. So that's what we're talking about.

Jaclyn: 3:19

Yeah, all right. So your relationships mirror your internal state, and I think that is the overarching theme of this episode, and I have found that the frequency that I live at attracts that like frequency, just like a magnet. That like frequency, just like a magnet. And so I think for me and it's really cool because I've seen this happen in all of the different places that we've lived, because we've lived in so many different places and I've been in so many different stages of my life, or like levels in each area that we live I think about, like my friendships when we lived in Idaho.

Jaclyn: 4:18

I think about my friendships when we lived in Idaho. They were very surf, a whole lot of time to build female friendships, even though I craved that. And in college, of course, it was a lot easier because you're with people all of the time. But then it wasn't really until we moved to Georgia and moved to Athens specifically, that I made a girlfriend. That was like a very deep, deep, deep, deep friendship for a number of years Beyond that.

Jaclyn: 4:49

In high school I had some good friends, but you graduate and you lose touch. And then in college I had some incredible friends that I still love so much, but you also move on and lose touch. And in moving to Arizona, I think and hopefully this is all tracking and making sense. I'm in my third trimester of pregnancy, so mom brain is like fully, fully kicking in, but I think I am the best version of me. I've ever been living here, doing what we're doing, surrounded by the people we're surrounded by, and I have the most incredible female friendships and I continue to build friendships with women that are on that same frequency of ambition but also cheerleading each other, which I think is so incredibly important. And so I'm building these friendships where we're challenging one another and we've got that kind of rapport where we can be very gut, level, honest, but we're also in each other's corner and we're the first ones to pop up and be like you got this.

Sam: 6:03

Yeah.

Jaclyn: 6:04

Or the first ones to like buy that person's product or leave them a review on Google or whatever. So it's this beautiful womanhood where we are intentionally crafting these friendships so that, as we grow older, we can build a history with one another.

Sam: 6:22

Yeah, you know I love that. Yeah, you know. Yeah, and it's cool to see how you guys support each other and I think that that's something that's. I won't say it's uncommon because I don't want to paint with a broad brush, but I think your experience in female relationships for a long time on a whole was not that where.

Jaclyn: 6:45

Was not super supportive. Yeah, yeah, yeah, there was much more like competition involved, which I never really liked very much, yeah, and I never felt like I.

Sam: 6:53

I never felt like you. You were never the one that was kind of instigating that sort of energy in the group, but it seemed like oftentimes that other women may have had that energy towards you.

Jaclyn: 7:10

Well, and I think that's so, so, so common, yeah, especially if anyone is insecure. You know, it's just so easy to compare ourselves to one another and whatnot. But again, going back to the topic of this, which is relationships, are frequency exchanges? The higher I vibrate, so to speak, or the higher that you spend the most time with are, they say, that's who you become your closest five friends or closest five people to you, and I think that that's absolutely true. How would you say is a wise way to audit your circle?

Sam: 8:01

Well, I think that what we already talked about it mirrors your internal state. So I think you do some self-reflection for sure and be honest with yourself and most likely that's going to reflect the relationships in your life. Whatever your relationship with yourself is going to translate into what sort of relationships you're willing to have and what sort of relationships you're pursuing, I think. But as far as auditing, it's kind of interesting. I think guys tend to be a little more easygoing and I've had a lot of friends, um, in my life. But you know, 99% of those are kind of surface level, just friends and that's okay, like I. I think I in general have been much more okay with having like surface level friends and I don't think that there's anything wrong with that. But I think there gets a certain stage in life when you start recognizing the need for boundaries and the people that you want to have close to you, the people that you can depend on, the people that are going to interact with your family, you kind of want that.

Jaclyn: 9:30

Especially when you have kids. Yeah, things change you want them to be.

Sam: 9:35

You want them to be accountable in the same way that to the same standards that you hold yourself to. So I think that, in general, as a rule of thumb is you know, self-reflecting, what are your standards, what are your core values, and then evaluating the people that you spend time with, that you are ultimately investing the most precious resource, which is your time with and determining. You know if your values align.

Jaclyn: 10:07

Yeah, I have a much shorter answer.

Sam: 10:09

Do you want to ask me the?

Jaclyn: 10:10

same question.

Sam: 10:12

Yeah, yeah. How do you audit your circle?

Jaclyn: 10:16

I ask myself how does this person make me feel?

Sam: 10:20

That's a good one.

Jaclyn: 10:21

And if I'm challenged in a good way, I'm all for it. Like my friend, luba will call me out on certain things or give me like an honest truth bomb, and I appreciate that because I really love and respect her. If I am around someone and at the end of hanging out with them I feel drained or I feel weird or I feel like there are some red flags, doesn't mean that I'm like going to ghost someone, but that's not a friendship that I want to pour a lot of time into. And you know, now we're about to have a second child, we have a business that's growing and morphing and doing all of these cool things, and so our time is more limited. And so my inner. I'm very happy with having an inner circle of friends that is like not bigger than my hand you know what I mean and so I'm very happy with having an inner circle of friends that is like not bigger than my hand.

Jaclyn: 11:11

You know what I mean. And so I just consistently ask myself how is this person making me feel? Because I am so sensitive to energy and every person is sensitive to energy if we tune in and if that energy feels dissonant, I pay attention to that and I'm at a point in my life where I'm not trying to fix it, not trying to go overboard. I don't want to do like friends therapy with people, you know. I want it there to be a level of ease there.

Sam: 11:38

And so I just constantly ask myself, like, how do I feel when I'm yeah, I feel like if friendships require constant, require constant clarification, yeah and uh, there's constant turmoil and you're spending a lot of time repairing the relationship or getting on the same page.

Jaclyn: 11:59

yeah, you don't want to have to constantly being constantly explain yourself.

Sam: 12:03

Yeah, and it doesn't mean you don't want to be challenged, certainly but I think it's kind of. It's kind of like if you're dating someone and no judgment, but you know, a month into dating you're starting to go to like counseling for your relationship or whatever it is.

Jaclyn: 12:20

It's may not be the best match.

Sam: 12:22

Might not, yeah, might might not be a good fit. So, with your circle of friends, how did you, did you actively pursue that or how did you kind of attract those friendships?

Jaclyn: 12:38

Yeah, that's a really good question. Well, I think when we moved here, I got pregnant almost immediately and I didn't want to have a pregnancy and then the first couple of years here be lonely for me, and so in my mind I was just very open to friendship, and what I mean by that is like friendship in all forms. So my first friend that I met here was Stephanie, and then Christina and Stephanie I met through you through real estate. Then I met Lexi through real estate and what I just kept saying to myself is I'm not going to judge anyone in the first couple of meetings, I'm just going to get to know people and enjoy getting to know people and see what happens and see what happens. And so generally, you know, I'll ask myself that question, like, how does this person make me feel? But I keep a very open mind. I don't go into an interaction going like are you going?

Jaclyn: 13:38

to be my friend or not. I'm just very naturally curious about people and I liked getting to know people, so I think that was a very good way for me to kind of introduce myself to the Scottsdale market, so to speak, and I also, as I've gotten older, have become so open to different ways of meeting people. Maybe I go to an event and I meet someone.

Jaclyn: 14:03

That's how I met Luba and Christy. We went to an event by Candy Valentino and we all met randomly there. I am open to meeting your friends' wives and becoming friends with them. I'm open to meeting somebody at a yoga class or a P-Volv class and getting to know them and saying, hey, do you want to grab coffee sometime? I'm also open when people slide into my DMS women, not men. But when women slide into my DMS and they, you know, start to chat it up with me, I feel like I'm very open to that. I'm not like closed off and I'll invite people to do things, and so I I am. I I'm just a very open person and that has served me well. Then the flip side of that is if, energetically, I don't have anything to give, I also have no problem telling someone, hey, I just don't have it in me right now and I'm so sorry, and let's make another date to get together, but I can't make it today.

Sam: 15:08

Yeah.

Jaclyn: 15:09

So I'm very, I'm very honest with myself.

Sam: 15:11

Yeah, I think the openness is is key to that. I think that's something that I've kind of always made friends, uh, easily and um, just naturally, through, you know, sports or school or whatever it is, um, and have always been blessed in that way. But you know, at this point in life it's definitely a choice, um, and it's not really my personality to kind of go pursue uh people and pursue friendships and that sort of thing, but it's been something that he likes to hang out with his family and his wife.

Sam: 15:49

Well, you know, especially in recent years, that's a million percent been the focus and it will still continue to be the focus. But I think that it's since that same period, since we moved out here a lot of the close friendships that I had before, that you know, people have their own families, they have their own things, and if you're not in the same, you know, five, 10 mile radius, they can things just fall to the wayside and that's just the way that it is. So I'm at a point now where I need to kind of step it up and make more of an effort and, um uh, make connections I and be more open. You know, I think there's a level of being vulnerable or vulnerability that you uh will need to put out there, and to me all that really means is like you were talking about, like, hey, you want to go grab coffee or you want to go grab a beer or whatever it is. Um, and taking those steps whatever it is.

Sam: 16:47

Um and taking those steps. I see you, guys.

Jaclyn: 16:50

But yeah, yeah.

Sam: 16:50

So it's funny. It's funny being 40 and friendless You're not friendless.

Jaclyn: 16:57

But there's also another layer to this. I think in partnership and for us, you are always so supportive of me going and having girl dates with my friends and I think I come back a more fulfilled person and I am so supportive and excited for you to hang out with guy friends.

Jaclyn: 17:15

Because I think you come back with new ideas and expanded horizons and new experiences, and so I think it's so healthy, in a relationship too, to depend on each other in certain ways, but not depend on each other to fulfill every single need that we have.

Sam: 17:31

Well, I think it's also, um, you know, obviously we're there for each other through everything, but, uh, there are certain things that your female friends can provide.

Jaclyn: 17:42

That I'm just yeah, like you don't know what it's like to be pregnant. You don't know what it's like to sit here and have your baby kicking you and distracting you the whole time.

Sam: 17:50

And.

Jaclyn: 17:50

I'm so grateful for that. It's such a good thing and I know that you'll talk to me about it and you'll hold space for me, but you're never going to be.

Sam: 17:56

Well, what I mean is, like I want to, I'm going to do my best to support you, um, in the ways that I know how, but at the same time, we're just different. So when you can go and spend time with your girlfriends and get your cup filled in that way, not only is it benefiting you, but it's taking a little weight off my shoulders.

Jaclyn: 18:24

And vice versa. Yeah, I totally feel that way.

Jaclyn: 18:27

Yeah, and I think, as a caveat and we could probably do a whole podcast episode on this it's so important not to depend on your partner to fulfill every need that you have, and I just like you are so amazing and I love you so much, but I also don't expect you to be everything for me. I don't want you to be. That's not fair to you. Okay, so let's talk about friendships a little bit more and how to cultivate that inner circle that so many of us crave, and we're just going to talk about three very, very simple things One we already touched on, which is become the energy that you want to attract. If you want to attract let's say you're like me and you want to attract female entrepreneurs that are ambitious, that are mothers, that are also empathetic and want to have deep, deep levels of friendship, be that, be a female entrepreneur. Be someone who is willing to do the work and go deep and talk about things that are uncomfortable. Be someone who is willing to risk being honest, even if you feel like it make that person a little bit uncomfortable, because truth can be spoken in love, and I think that that's so important.

Jaclyn: 19:48

I think for Sam, you are a guy who wants to attract other high performing guys who are interested in business and have a zest for life and who love their families and who have a moral compass. And so you, being those things which you already are, when you go out and exude that, you're going to attract that right back. If you go out and you're needy and you're like I want to attract female entrepreneur friendships but I need it so bad, I need it so bad and I'm not there and I'm not doing it, you're not going to attract that same level of friendship. So what Banya told me several years ago was whoever you want to be in five years, just start acting like that person now. That's an extremely effective way to call in the frequency that you want, just like. If you want to be a millionaire or a billionaire, start acting like one. That doesn't mean go spend money frivolously because you can. It means embody that energy of confidence, embody that curiosity about your business, embody that zest for life, that zest for learning more.

Sam: 21:01

Well, I think the yes. Become that person, but also seek out people that you aspire to be like too. So it's you're, you're. You are taking the steps personally to become that person, but these people have such a great influence on us, I think it's a good thing to go out and seek those people that you want to emulate.

Jaclyn: 21:29

Yeah, and I'm sorry if I didn't say that clearly, but absolutely, and I think the key to that is to audit yourself, to not allow yourself to become so intimidated that you avoid hanging out with them. For sure.

Jaclyn: 21:46

You know what I mean, because insecurities can pop up. But what I find is, when I hang out with people that are more successful than me, of course there are those very human thoughts of man. I would love to have that level of success. But we get to choose our thoughts and I can also choose to say, hey, if she can do it, that means I can do it. And even better, if we're in the same circle, I can ask her how she did it, I can ask for the play-by-play, I can ask for advice, and so I have found it to be such a fun thing to interact with people that are way more successful than me, because it's like a step up. Yeah, you know.

Sam: 22:25

Yeah.

Jaclyn: 22:25

Okay. Next thing is so that's, become the energy you want to attract. This is we're talking about cultivating your inner circle, and there are three steps that we came up with. So become the energy you want to attract. Number two is set clear standards without drama, and I love this one because boundaries are just so important. So decide what you will put up with and what you won't put up with. My mom used to tell me all the time growing up, you teach people how to treat you, and so if something feels off, stand up for yourself. If something is awesome, continue down that path, but be very clear what you will and will not put up with.

Jaclyn: 23:09

Do you have anything to add to that part?

Sam: 23:28

But be very clear, what you values and those sorts of things. I feel like that kind of directly translates. So it's just making sure that you have. It's making sure that you value yourself enough to have the people around you reflect your values.

Jaclyn: 23:48

Yeah, and if something comes up and there is drama, you get to choose how you react too. You can say, hey, I wish you the absolute best, but I'm not willing to participate in this, and let it be that simple, and you don't need to apologize for it either. Okay, step three nurture the relationships that feel expansive. And I think, going back to you asking me, you know how did you make friends when we moved here? Like pretty quickly, and I think I just immediately started. It's like salve on my heart. I love them so much. But it's because over the last three years, four years, I have spent time with these people. I've been intentional, I've sent text messages, they've sent text messages. We send each other voice notes that are several minutes long, updating each other on what's going on, even if we can't talk on the phone or hang out.

Sam: 25:14

And so that sense of intention has really to use that are, you know, that are interested in the same things that we're interested in, whether it's business or self-development, personal development or just getting the most out of life. So if you want good friendships, move to Arizona, Just getting the most out of life. So I think that coming here.

Jaclyn: 25:29

So if you want good friendships, move to Arizona.

Sam: 25:31

I think that coming here was kind of a. There are a lot of people who are like us which is really cool.

Jaclyn: 25:40

Well, and I think the frequency that we were living on right before we got here was a perfect frequency match for here.

Sam: 25:48

Yeah.

Jaclyn: 25:49

So let's close this out High vibe people are drawn to other high vibe frequency people like magnets, and that has certainly been my experience. So, whatever kind of friendships you want to cultivate, start becoming that person. Start becoming that friend now. And it's the same way in romantic relationships. Whatever kind of partner you want to call in, start becoming that person. Start becoming that friend now. And it's the same way in romantic relationships. Whatever kind of partner you want to call in, start becoming that partner now. Anytime I feel like I'm not getting something from you that I want, I try to audit myself and go why don't I become that?

Jaclyn: 26:25

for him and then see how he reacts, and more often than not you meet me.

Sam: 26:31

Yeah, and then see how he reacts. And more often than not, you meet me, yeah. Well, we've always talked about how, if we feel like we're not getting something, from the other, then we're probably not giving something to the other two. So it's an equilibrium.

Jaclyn: 26:41

So what question?

Sam: 26:42

do you want to leave the?

Jaclyn: 26:43

audience with Gosh. Sam, you're making me do the heavy lifting and I'm in the third trimester tire this is you're good at it okay, the question that I have for the audience is what kind of friendships do you want to attract in the next three months? And make yourself a little list, set the boundaries without the drama, and then nurture those relationships that feel expansive. All right, thank you all for listening. Live on purpose, live on frequency, and we will catch you in the next episode.

Sam: 27:17

See you later.

Jaclyn: 27:24

Thank you so much for listening to The Freq Show with Sam Thurmond and me, Jaclyn Steele Thurmond. We would love to connect with you via our website, beckonliving. com, and on social media.

Sam: 27:33

You can find us on Instagram and TikTok @beckonliving, and you can join our email list to receive uplifting messages, podcast and business updates, and discounts on high-frequency products just for our freqy community. Cheers to high-frequency living!