When Your Dreams Feel Too Big: Balancing Ambition with Self-Compassion

In this soulful and honest episode, Jaclyn opens up about a moment that many high-achievers will resonate with—a breaking point brought on by big dreams, relentless pressure, and the weight of doing it all. Through tears and truth, she unpacks what it means to chase a vision without sacrificing your peace in the process.

You’ll hear:
A raw story about overwhelm and the clarity it brought
How to distinguish healthy ambition from harmful pressure
Why slowing down isn’t giving up—it’s alignment
Tools to check in with yourself before burnout hits
The reminder that you don’t have to carry the dream alone

Whether you're building a business, raising a family, or both—this episode is your permission slip to take a breath and re-center. Because you’re not behind. You’re becoming.

Chapters

• 0:00 Big Dreams, Bigger Pressure
• 2:05 The Breakdown in the Rocking Chair
• 5:20 Weight of the Vision for High Achievers
• 8:40 Perspective: You Wanted This Life
• 11:36 Slowing Down Isn’t Giving Up
• 15:10 One-Thing Focus Beats Busywork
• 19:05 Seasons of Hibernation and Recalibration
• 22:28 Sponsor: Higher Dose Wellness Tech
• 25:06 Course-Correct Before Burnout
• 28:10 Build with Grace, Not Grit Alone

Transcript

Jaclyn: 0:01

Hello and welcome to The Freq Show. I am Jaclyn Steele Thurmond.

Sam: 0:06

And I'm Sam Thurmond.

Jaclyn: 0:08

Steve. And today we are going to talk about how when your dreams feel too big, balancing ambition and self-compassion. And I think the best way to open up this episode is by sharing what happened with me about a week and a half ago. Little backstory. I am about to give birth any day now with our second baby. We are recording some episodes in advance so that I can have a very peaceful, calm maternity leave. But leading up until now, we have been trying to get ahead on the podcast. I've really dropped the ball as far as the free cap goes, because there are several things I need to take care of that I just haven't. I have had three huge client projects for interior design. And then I signed another client last week, which is extremely exciting. I have a book deal, and I was supposed to finish that manuscript in May. We are recording this in the middle of July. Still not done with that. So that's hanging over me. I did get an extension, but I've got that going on. We have a three-year-old. We have been doing baby prep. My mom moved to Scottsdale, moved into a beautiful condo, and then it flooded. And what else do we have going on? You doing commercial stuff and deals going well there, but like not complete yet. So there's been a lot of uncertainty. I feel like there are like five other things that I'm missing.

Sam: 1:59

Yeah, well, I mean, there's all that to say there's a lot going on.

Jaclyn: 2:03

There's a lot going on. And about a week ago, week and a half ago, maybe, I sat in the new rocking chair that I got for this baby, because the one I got for Roman was a vintage one and it caved in. And I started sobbing, uncontrollably sobbing, which for a lot of pregnant people probably isn't that like uncommon. But I feel like this pregnancy, since it's the second one and I know more of what to expect, I haven't really had a lot of breakdowns. And I feel like emotionally, you can correct me if I'm wrong. I feel like I've been pretty consistent.

Sam: 2:44

Yeah, for sure.

Jaclyn: 2:45

And I've worked throughout this entire pregnancy, even through the morning sickness, even through the flus, multiple flus that we got when Roman started school. But a week ago, a week and a half ago, the pressure built up to a point where I felt crushed. Not just like, oh, I'm overwhelmed. I felt crushed. Like, how am I going to prepare for this baby, finish the amount of client work that I'm supposed to finish before the baby comes so that I can actually enjoy my maternity leave and not have cabinet people calling me and contractors calling me and clients calling me, going, where is this? What is this? How does this get installed? Which way do you want this tile laid? I just felt like the world was caving in on me. And so I feel like this is such a poignant topic to be talking about big dreams and building this business that honestly I love building, but not giving myself enough space and grace to allow myself to feel all the feelings. Does that kind of make sense?

Sam: 4:04

Yeah.

Jaclyn: 4:05

And I am someone who loves to be doing things. I don't like I love to go on a vacation to Greece. I love to go to Italy. But Sam will tell you when we vacation, I want to go like see stuff and do stuff. I'm not a great lounger, sitter, hanger-outer.

Sam: 4:29

Yeah.

Jaclyn: 4:29

However, when I do just hang out and sit and quiet my mind, I become 10 times more inspired. My nervous system feels so much better. It's just not my default mode. And so I want to talk today about balancing ambition with self-compassion. And this is also so timely because I'm about to have maternity leave. Um, and it's hard for me to, it can be hard. I want to be careful of my word choice for me to slow down. But a baby is like the perfect reason to do this because you don't want to miss out on that time. So that's what's going on right now. But I first want to talk about the weight of the vision. And I know you can relate to me on this, but high achievers, and if you're listening to this, you're probably a high achiever. We often push ourselves to the edge. So when I got pregnant with baby number two, I took on a project, a huge home remodel for an NFL player. I was also in the midst of writing the book. Roman was two at the time. We were well into making the free gap and had several other things going on. And I know that I know I have a tendency to push myself until burnout. But there's a difference, and this is something that I think you have helped me see is that there's a difference between a healthy drive and self-imposed pressure. I think I just like to accomplish things. I like to feel like I'm getting wins. I like to feel like I'm making progress every single day. But that drive can so easily veer into burnout and create a pressure-vice feeling that I know so many entrepreneurs and parents can relate to. So do you have anything to comment on that as far as like the weight of the vision? Because I know that you feel that sometimes too.

Sam: 7:01

Well, I think we talked about this in a uh uh our podcast a couple weeks ago. But the when you stop and think about it, all of the things, the all of the things that are coming to fruition fruition that have come to fruition are all the things you wanted. But when that stuff starts happening and you're getting what you're what you wanted, now you have to do all that stuff. Like now you have to write the book, now you have to do the design projects, now you have to take care of the you know the baby and and all those sorts of things. But they're all things that we've wanted that you wanted specifically, and you have the um you had the uh um assertiveness to take action and make them happen. But when they all kind of like pile up on uh pile up on you, it can be a lot. Um, but you know, that's just part of it. So I think that it's really important to take time to be still and assess all of these great blessings that are taking place and all of the things that you've created and and are creating, and being thankful for that, and just stopping and saying, This is exactly what I wanted. Like all this stuff that's causing burnout, that's that can you know cause anxiety or make you feel overwhelmed, is all stuff that you wanted, you know, and putting it back into perspective, I think is important.

Jaclyn: 8:41

But yeah, but also not denying that it can feel like a pressure cooker at times.

Sam: 8:47

Yeah, of course, of course. But I think that's just that is um a way to give yourself perspective in those moments when you're feeling that pressure. Yeah, you know, because I think we naturally want to be, we we want to get rid of the pressure, we want we want to seek comfort. Um and we're just naturally wired to to want comfort. Um, but having that perspective and that realization that, you know, one I created all this chaos that's going on because it's what I wanted. Um, and then when you can uh look at it that way, it's a little easier to deal with it, you know.

Jaclyn: 9:32

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Perspective is everything. But the next thing I want to talk about is why slowing down doesn't mean giving up. And in those moments of overwhelm, I think the tendency for a lot of people is to throw in the towel and go, oh, this just isn't worth it, or to um think that slowing down or adjusting the speed at which they're moving is a cop-out. But over time, we've been entrepreneurs now for over a decade. Over time, what I've realized is those moments of breakdown always precede breakthrough. And that night you said something to me that was very profound. And you said, Hey, we underestimate how much we can do when we really focus on one thing. And that following week, I was able to make so much progress by tuning out all of the stuff that I didn't actually need to do that week. And then this week, I've done the same thing where I've just made the most important thing, the most important thing as far as work goes. And I've knocked off so many different things on that list that was making me cry.

Sam: 10:47

Yeah. And to just to add on to that, my I've kind of come up with that motto over a number of years, just through experience of like, it's crazy. I can not all problems, but I can solve most problems in my business if I just focus on that one thing for for uh a full day and give that thing my full attention. And it's only it's only because I'm trying to do so many things at once that I'm not being super productive in any of them.

Speaker 01: 11:23

Yeah.

Sam: 11:23

But if I give myself a solid day to address an issue, 90% of the time I come to a solution or a resolution on that thing that it might not fix it that day, but at least have a solid plan on this is how how to make this right.

Jaclyn: 12:08

On Tuesday, I'm gonna work out and I'm gonna work all day on this client's project. And that gets us so much farther than trying to block out all these tiny little blocks, which is what I have been doing and overwhelming myself in the process. But I think often too, when we start to slow down, some people think from their conditioning that that's lazy. But I view it as hibernation and recalibration. Things are seasonal. There's a reason that we have a winter. There's a reason that seeds go in the ground and they don't have any progress for a little while. They're doing so much, but you don't see it yet. And I feel like this next maternity leave that I'm going to experience is going to be a season of more hibernation for me. Yes, I'm going to be active because we're going to have a newborn. But I feel like as far as mental load goes, it's going to be a chance for me to recalibrate and go, this is what is important to me. Then, secondarily, this is what I want to accomplish. And then, third, this is how I want to approach accomplishing it.

Jaclyn: 13:28

This episode of The Freq Show is brought to you by Higher dose. Elevate your daily health and beauty rituals with their infrared, PEMF and red light devices. From detox and weight loss to recovery and relaxation, their biohacking technologies will transform your wellness routine. PEMF technology mimics the healing vibrations of the earth, enhancing the body's natural recovery process, reducing inflammation, increasing energy, relieving stress, it eases sore muscles, and it promotes deeper sleep. Higher dose does not claim this, but some holistic health practitioners encourage the use of PEMF mats to get rid of excess radiation in the body from cell phones and Wi-Fi and all of the technology that we are exposed to daily. The red light face mask is an effortless addition to any skincare ritual and your best beauty investment yet. It helps to reduce fine lines and wrinkles. It boosts collagen and elastin. It reduces redness and ignites a radiant glow. I can attest to that. It works so well. It's also incredible if you want glowy, dewy, gorgeous skin. This red light face mask goes deeper, literally, by rejuvenating your skin and igniting an unmatched natural glow. Higher dose generously offered our community 20% off of their products with the code Beckon, B-E-C-K-O-N at higherdose.com. Again, use the code BECKON at checkout for 20% off of your purchase at higherdose.com. This discount is not available for sauna purchases, but I can personally attest that everything I used from higher dose is absolutely incredible, and you will not regret this purchase or any of their purchases. Okay? You can thank me later. Now back to the show.

Jaclyn: 15:32

As I was taking a shower this morning, I was like, you know, I don't need to get to the point of burnout over and over and over to make changes. I can feel myself drifting toward that way and then decide to reel it back in and go, you know what? I need a day off. We haven't had a vacation since we went to Italy in November. It's been a long time since we've taken some time off. You know, we need to build in more downtime. We need to build in more just quiet so we can think. Um thinking time is so underrated. And so I'm really looking forward to slowing down so that I can recalibrate and reassess how I've been approaching things because I've been so in the business and in the life rather than looking at the life or working on the life. Um, and so slowing down again, it doesn't mean giving up. It just means calibrating. There's so much opportunity in that slowing down and in that rest, opportunity for inspiration, opportunity for clarity, for growth, all the things. All right. Let's talk about building a dream with grace, not grit alone. You and I both have a tendency to just go, we gotta pull our pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and straps and just go for it. But as I've gotten older, I find that I'm much more in the flow when I give myself some grace. Yes, grit is required. You're gonna meet roadblocks and you have to have grit to get over them. But grace is so important. And I'm gonna give you an example. Yesterday morning was Wednesday morning, and I was slated to go to P Volve in the morning, like I usually do on Wednesday mornings. But at 6 a.m., after almost a full night of not sleeping, I canceled the class. The old me of a couple years ago would have beaten myself up all morning, would have worried about what the instructors thought about me canceling and not showing up and all of the things. And the me of yesterday, which shows so much growth, was like, I'm not gonna beat myself up for anything. I am nine months pregnant, still going and working out. And if I miss a day, I miss a day. But my sleep needs to be a priority, or I'm not gonna be able to get through my day. And so I think allowing ourselves grace, like, yes, there's a time to push yourself. If you commit to something, it is important to follow through. But if there are days where things don't go perfectly your way, it's also okay to shift and pivot and make a different decision and not beat yourself up in the process.

Sam: 18:36

Yeah. I feel like I don't have that problem.

Jaclyn: 18:41

I don't think you do have that problem as much as me. Um, but we also grew up in two very different households. You know? Okay, so let's talk about how high frequency livering living incorporates joy, trust, and flow. And what I mean by that is we just did an episode about thought healing tools. When we approach our big dreams with joy and trust and flow, I have found that they are accomplished a lot faster. When we try and manhandle and push and grit our way through, it's a lot harder. And those are two totally different approaches. I think the joy, trust, flow is very high frequency. The man handling, woman handling, shoving, pushing, grit is a much lower frequency because you're not trusting that the dream is going to happen. You're not in the frequency of belief, right? And so allowing ourselves to dream as big as possible, but in that space, not putting so much pressure on ourselves. Sorry, I'm starting to lose my breath. This baby is big, but not putting so much pressure on ourselves that it takes away from the joy of the journey of accomplishing that dream. And I think you and I have both done that. Okay. And then I want to share a couple practices of how I'm integrating, slowing down a little bit, but also approaching my big dreams differently. One thing that I love to do is not look at my phone past 7 p.m. I also don't look at my phone first thing in the morning because I want to set the tone of my day. I don't want my phone to be setting the tone of my day. Another thing that I am noticing is that having quiet in between moments is also so beautiful. So I love listening to podcasts, I love listening to audiobooks, I love listening to music. I like going online and scrolling and doing all of the things. But even just a car ride to pick up our son, sometimes it's so nice to just have five minutes quiet. Time to think, time to get a little clarity, time to sort through thoughts, right? I also, this morning, I call it going through the car wash, I took a long leisurely shower and I exfoliated and like did all the things. And then I got out of the shower and I slathered myself in organic olive oil and essential oils. And taking moments like that to just say it's 20 minutes to take care of ourselves, to love ourselves, to love our bodies, to just be in quiet. I listened to some frequency music. I felt like a new person when I was done. And so incorporating it doesn't have to be like, hey, you take two months off, which is great if you can. It can be little moments throughout the day where you slow down a minute and allow your mind, your thoughts to slow down. And that has a ripple effect and it compounds over time. And then if you do have an opportunity to slow down a little bit more, and it's hard to say that maternity leave is like truly slowing down, but not being in the super fast-paced routine that I have been.

Sam: 22:25

I think that you can define slowing down in a lot of different ways. And I think prioritizing is one of those ways to slow down. Like we talked about focusing on one thing for a day.

Jaclyn: 22:37

Yeah.

Sam: 22:38

Um, and I think when the baby comes, prioritizing the baby and our family in that that time while we'll never get it back if we don't. Well, it's gonna be crazy and hectic and little to no sleep and all that kind of stuff, but slowing down from a standpoint of this is the priority right now. And so there we don't have you know 10 priorities right now. This is the priority, and it's gonna keep us pretty busy, you know. But there's so much joy in that. Being able to focus on that um alone and is a version of slowing down.

Jaclyn: 23:19

And I remember when I had Roman, there were multiple times where you would say, Hey, go get a massage, go get your nails done, just take a couple of hours for yourself. And I think I would do the same for you. And it makes all the difference when we are, you know, coming together to like take care of these beautiful children, but it's also so demanding to give each other a little space and to understand, hey, he needs a minute. Hey, I need a minute. Like right before we started recording, you said, I'll go pick up Roman today because I was feeling out of breath and like, whew, I'm tired. Those little things make such a big difference, too.

Sam: 24:00

Yeah.

Jaclyn: 24:00

So let's do some check-in questions for dreamers. Number one is am I building a life or surviving one? It's important to understand the difference. Next one is is this pressure internal or external? Next is what do I need most in this moment? Rest, support, inspiration. And then last question is can I trust that the vision unfolds in divine timing? And I think that's kind of where I'm at. Tend to be a pusher. But after that breakdown, I was like, you know what? I'm just gonna kick my feet up a little bit, do what I need to do, but not overdo it. And that has made a huge difference. So I want to reaffirm for everyone listening that pressure is not the path, alignment is knowing who you are and what you want, and then trusting that that will come to fruition as you continue to take daily action. That's the best way to go about it. It doesn't have to be super complicated. And then, as Banya would say, being is just as important as doing. Our energy shifts the things around us. So who we are being is just as important as what we are doing. Then, last thing is I want to encourage you guys to check in with yourselves today. I hope you do have dreams that are just beyond your wildest imagination and they intimidate you and they feel like, how on earth am I gonna get this done and get this accomplished in one lifetime? But then I also hope that you can trust that if that dream was given to you, it was given to you for a reason. And that as you continue to plug along, God will join you in that and take you where you need to go. All right. Anything else you want to say before we sign off and we don't record podcasts for a little while. We still have everything scheduled out, so we will have a new episode for you every Tuesday. But because I'm about to give birth, I'm gonna take a pause. I'm literally out of breath.

Sam: 26:17

Only thing that I would add on that, and the titles When Your Dreams Feel Too Big, um, Balancing Ambition, the the one thing that I would add would be so often we create the stress uh that that we're feeling um unnecessarily so when it's not what am I trying to say? Uh we we build things up in our mind and we have this picture of what we need to do and how we need to be approaching things and all the different uh progress that we need to make in a hundred different ways and on a hundred different things every day, but uh it's the important things are are few and far between. The things that really move the needle are few and far between. And so I think I find myself when I'm not prioritizing the right things and I'm trying to do it all, that that's when I'm really uh my uh lowest efficiency. See, and so I would just encourage folks to you know kind of stop the voice in your head from telling you that you gotta do in everything today, everything on your checklist today, and just focusing on those things that really move the needle.

Jaclyn: 27:48

Yeah.

Sam: 27:49

And, you know, I I really think that that's the best way to slow down as opposed, not as opposed to, but in addition to taking those taking that time to just do nothing. Yeah.

Jaclyn: 28:03

And I feel like great resources for that that just came to mind are Stephen Covey's Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, and then also Greg McCowan's The One Thing. Those are really, really good resources to bring it back. I've read both of them and I need to reread both of them. So maybe that will be part of my maternity leave reading list. Yeah. Anyways, we love you guys. We thank you for listening, and we can't wait to catch you in the next episode. Until then, live on purpose and live on frequency.

Jaclyn: 28:39

Thank you so much for listening to The Freq Show with Sam Thurmond and me, Jaclyn Steele Thurmond. We would love to connect with you via our website, beckonliving.com and on social media.

Sam: 28:49

You can find us on Instagram and TikTok @beckonliving, and you can join our email list to receive uplifting messages, podcast and business updates, and discounts on high frequency products just for our freqy community. Here's the high frequency living!